Don't you just love snow in Britain and the school closures which inevitably ensue? My boys might not have moved forward with their literacy and numeracy but have had a great lesson in how to make a huge snowman and how to keep your limbs intact when you fall off a small piece of plastic while hurtling down the 17th fairway at a particularly hilly local golf course.
It's also a time when another of my pet hate stock phrases (see Christmas blogs) are bandied about at will.
We begin by discussing whether it's too
cold to snow. Was it Ben Elton who did a piece of stand-up about
this? I think so. If anybody remembers, please e.mail me,
withdewrespect@gmail.com
We then progress to discussing
whether we like snow or not. And you can bet your bottom dollar that
people will respond: "Oo, I like the snow when it first comes but I don't
like it when it gets all slushy."
(or words to that effect).
Take
heed Mother Nature, this is something you need to work on. You need to
send us the beautiful white picture-postcard snow we all love, but develop a way that
all the dirt and grime that human beings and their filthy motorised
machines spew forth into the world doesn't muddy the lovely snow.
Good luck Ma'am.
While I'm on the subject of stock phrases that drive me bonkers.....
"Aw, you're having a baby, lovely, would you like a boy or a girl?"
"Oo, I don't mind really, as long as it's healthy."
"That
doesn't answer the bloody question. I didn't ask you whether you
wanted a healthy baby or an unhealthy one did I?! " (Sorry, I apologise,
it's rude and unkind to shout at pregnant ladies)
When I was walking around looking like I'd swallowed a beach ball, I always answered the question. "A girl."
What did I get? Two boys.
And I wouldn't have it any other way. (and I don't apologise for shouting that out loud)
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| Now that's what I call a proper snowman! |
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| A lean, mean snowballing machine |
