Friday 18 October 2013

How to stop your toast landing butter side down

What a to-do when you've got a lot of to dos on your to do list.

I have a pretty full 'to do' list today and appear to be writing my blog, which isn't even on the list!

Working from home (job-hunting) is all well and good, until it gets to lunchtime.  I've just polished off a stale cupcake the kids had left, an Oat so Simple bowl of microwave porridge and I'm about to raid my unsuspecting son's 'hidden' chocolate stash.  I need to get a job quick just to pay my WW subs.

Then there's the issue Radio 4 were debating only last week; do people working from home, actually work or are they just sending the occasional e.mail and calling the boss every other hour while watching MOTD on catch-up, reading the paper or walking the dog?
Of course, that's the male version.
The female version of the work-from-home skiver would be putting the washing in, taking it out, hanging it up, ironing, cleaning, cooking the tea AND walking the dog.

And the burning question; can you get away with Skyping in your pyjamas if you angle your laptop's camera eye so you can only be seen from the neck up?  For this option, clothing is optional but full hair and make-up are NOT.  And don't move!

Anyway, speaking of reading the paper, I've given up after my mother-in-law left a copy of the Daily Mail and I found a full page feature on page 7 (page 7!!!) entitled 'How to stop toast landing butter side down'.

So, on with the list.  On today's to do list is to write a present list for my little lad's impending 6th birthday.

So far, he has gone through the Argos catalogue and optimistically turned down the corner on every page from 1451 to 1645, including the Barbie page.

It actually turned out OK when he whittled his list down to just two pages. I walked into Toys R Us, tipped the shelf of Ninja Turtle plastic into a trolley, re-mortgaged the house on a Samsung app, paid and left. (Apologies to Toys R Us for not presenting their branding correctly and turning the R around.  Mind you, it serves them right for assuming today's children can't fully conjugate the verb 'to be').

I used to think I was 'down with the kids', a hip and happening mum.  Mind you, this was when I thought taking them to McDonalds and knowing who Jessie J is qualified me as both hip and happening.
Clearly, there's more to it.  This week, my young son called me upstairs to watch him on his PS3. He was playing Grand Theft Auto and asked me whether I liked the car he had chosen to kill and maim, 'sick, innit mum?'

Don't ask, (or call Social Services).  'The absent father' flew in and suddenly Game were £44.99 better off and my innocent son was tearing around the foul-mouthed, violent, pornographic, crime-ridden streets of LA, (once he'd finished his homework and eaten all his tea, of course).

Thankfully, he didn't have his eyes opened too wide before a friend swiftly informed me just how 'sick' GTA is and  exactly why it is rated 18.  To which my eyes, and my mouth, opened even wider and Gary had to look up some words in the dictionary!


Thank you for reading.

Somebody told me this week, 'love your blog, made me smile!'

Just as I'd hoped.

Coming next.....cor blimey, Rome has some right old buildings doesn't it?!