Saturday 13 February 2016

Dad 1929 - 2016

Thank you all for coming, my dad would have been really chuffed to know you were here.
Tom Beckton was born in Wakefield on the 16th of December 1929 and was brother to Jane, Betty and Jocelyn.  He was confirmed at Wakefield Cathedral, attended Queen Elizabeth Grammar School in Wakefield and was a member of the Boy’s Brigade.

Despite the proximity of his early life to Leeds, my dad was, man and boy, a Man U supporter through and through and also spent many a happy day watching rugby league side Wakefield Trinity.   Unusually for a sports-loving man, if you asked my dad if he preferred rugby or football he would say he liked them both equally.

In fact, sport played a huge role in his whole life both as a supporter and a sportsman himself and although he played many sports including rugby and football, cricket was his game, and his prowess as a slow spin bowler was much feared by his opponents at their home ground of Sandal and away.

He worked in the health department at County Hall in Wakefield, as a computer programmer, which was where he met my mum Roslyn.  They married in 1964 and had their first home built for them on Hollerton Lane in West Ardsley where they lived for nearly 20 years.  My brother David arrived the year after they married and I came along in 1971.  My mum and dad helped run a youth group at the Methodist Church we attended and were proud to be involved in MAYC events in London.

Ten years later, my dad suffered a massive stroke and despite his best intentions, and making a full physical recover, he was sadly never to return to work.   My Auntie Marian remembered that such was his intelligence and importance, he was replaced by three men in his role at County Hall.

He showed dignity, strength of character and determination to work hard to re-educate the part of his brain which forms words and sentences.  As a family we would fill in the gaps, and struggle to decode what he was trying to say.  His memory was hit and miss, with one breath he would tell you Rastrick is near Halifax, a memory from 30 years ago, but then couldn’t remember what he’d had for dinner ten minutes ago.

Nevertheless, my dad continued to enjoy our regular family holidays spent in Bridlington with a large group of friends, helping build my granddad’s amazing sandcastles, sheltering from the rain in the chalet, playing cricket on the beach with Eileen and Jeff, crabbing and fishing off the harbour.

We eventually moved to Bridlington in 1984 and after my parents parted, my dad made his home in Headlands Close and kept himself busy enjoying walking, especially taking my mum’s dogs Sheba and Cindy for walks, and holidays abroad where his favourite destination was Malta.

Like on the cricket pitch, he was something of a pool whizz (not to mention snooker and billiards and dominoes) and played for the Brunswick where he enjoyed a full social life and had many friends.  One of my proudest memories of my dad is walking through Brid with him and hearing, ‘hi Tom’, ‘you alright Tom’, ‘how do you do Tom’......

Gary enjoyed taking him on at pool and turned a blind eye (no pun intended dad!) to him potting random balls and claiming glory.  His other passions in life included singing and drawing, and he was naturally gifted and talented in both areas. My children are very proud of the cartoon drawings they have framed on their walls which he drew for them - as good as any professional cartoonist.  He loved classical music and especially Katherine Jenkins so on our way out we will hear her sing Home, which has beautiful lyrics, please take time to listen to them.

My dad is granddad to seven grandchildren, three step-grandchildren and a recent addition to the family, a great granddaughter.

His little pad on Headlands Close was his life and he was very proud of it.  It was a regular treasure trove of his fascination with picking things up and I’m sure Gary will never forget his coffee jar collection!  He loved nothing more than collecting conkers and giving them to local school children, despite our protests.  But that was the best thing about my dad - inhibitions, being politically correct and having to say and do what was ‘right’ were simply not part of his life!  What a nice way to live.

However, despite this carefree attitude, he was a stickler for smart appearance and would always comment if I had on a new dress or had my hair cut (I’ve got both for you today dad).  And his own appearance was of paramount importance; his shirt, tie and shoes always immaculate whatever the occasion, his flat cap in place and, of course, his comb and handkerchief always at the ready.

As his health deteriorated over the past ten years (though he would frequently bounce back, as my brother said, ‘shall we pump his bike tyres up again?’), there were two places which were a Godsend in keeping him safe, cared for and well, out of mischief!  He loved his days spent with friends at Applegarth Court, playing dominoes, listening to music and enjoying a good meal and we are grateful for the care and companionship given by the carers at Caremark.  And two years ago, he moved to his new sea-front home at the Regent where the care and friendship he received was second to none right up to and even beyond his passing.

My dad struck up new friendships at the Regent and one day I made a surprise visit to find he was down at the Marine Bar with a fellow lady resident.  The carers had previously mentioned that he had made friends with a lady called Dorothy so naturally I presumed he was out with her.  When they arrived back, I said ‘hi’ to my dad and introduced myself to his companion Dorothy, only to be quickly corrected by one of the carers: “Oh, that’s not Dorothy, that’s Margaret, Dorothy’s over there”, she said pointing at the lady who was sat glaring jealously at Margaret!
You never lost it, did you dad?!

His quirkiness made him who he was; both Teddy and Daniel accepted that to granddad they would both answer to the name ‘David’ and his obsession with his TV remote control caused many a stir at the Regent.  He was easy-going and when asked a question, as Gary likes to remember, he would most likely have replied ‘oh yes’.

I remember one funny story when my dad rang my mum.....to ask what her telephone number was!  For 15 minutes she tried to patiently explain that he already had her number as he had just called her on it but it was to no avail so she changed the subject and asked what the weather was like, even though she lived less than a mile away!

We all know that my dad was quite often stuck for words but I like to think that he’d want us to look back on his life and remember the one word that he would always use when all others failed him, ‘smashing’.