In fact, when the iPod Touches have run out of steam, it's then that the steam starts to come out of my ears.
I stupidly flushed £3.60 down the drain by purchasing Cosmo at the airport en route to our hols. I finally got to open it on day five and made four attempts to read the opening paragraph of an article on One Direction:
Attempt number one:
"I need a wee."
"Ask your dad to take you."
Attempt number two:
"I want an icecream."
"Not until after your dinner."
Attempt number three:
"Come and push me on the turtle." (inflatable, not real)
"Ask your brother."
Attempt number four:
"I'm drowning, my brother has pushed me off the turtle."
"OK, hang on, I'm coming."
Darn it, now I'll have to wait until my children have left home to find out what Harry, Zayn, Louis, Niall and Liam are looking for in an ideal woman. While I wait to discover, my initial guess is that their ideal woman's age would begin with a 1 or a 2 (at a push) and not a 4, so I didn't need to read the article anyway!
Yes, I know it's wrong, wrong, wrong and I'm old enough to be their mother. But what's a girl to do, have you seen the pin-ups from my day these days? I mean, did you see Limahl on I'm a Celebrity..... and his strategic, yet ultimately futile, attempts to disguise the onslaught of male pattern baldness?
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| Happy days |
Of course, I always give in and push them around on the giant turtle. Sadly however, the turtle is no more, having been part of our family holiday for many years, hauled along in its own 20kg suitcase. I'm sorry to announce it was mercilessly slaughtered (well burst) by a three-year-old child. What was it you taught me mum, 'never a lender or a borrower be'? I kept telling the child to 'step away from the turtle' but he didn't seem to be listening to me (or his father) and dragged the poor defenseless creature around on the side of the pool until he sadly breathed his last breath, from a large gash in his leg joint.
"Muuuuuuum, a little boy has broken our turtle, can we go buy a new one?"
"NO, there's no spending money left and I have a suspicious feeling the boiler may need mending when we get home."
But, you know, it's funny isn't it? Even though our kids don't give us a second's peace, we can't imagine life without them; not even for a split second.
