I've discovered that alongside PCP, I am also a complete control freak (who knew!?), no acronym required.
In a cafe the other day I was multi-tasking; perusing the cake cabinet at the same time as telling my 9-year-old to take his coat off: "Daniel, Daniel, Daniel....take your coat off, it's warm in here, take your coat off, Daniel, Daniel!"
As I turned back to Daniel he gave me one of his withering looks and in a calm and dry tone said: "Well I was doing, before you started with the Daniel'ing".
Speaking of Daniel.... He's a boy with all the usual 'boy' attributes; he plays Minecraft on his PS3, kicks a ball around a muddy field every Sunday morning, collects Match Attax cards and likes guns and knives. He also, as has been analysed in many an edition of withdewrespect, has a, erm, softer side which was never more apparent than a conversation the other day.
We were looking at Swiss Army Knives and discussing the values of all their many attachments, knives in all shapes and sizes for various purposes, scissors, a bottle opener etc etc.
Daniel pipes up: "Mum, shall I tell you what would be really good as another attachment?"
Me: "What you thinking Daniel?"
Daniel: "A comb".
This kid was just born funny, it's not something you can learn, or clearly as you can see from this blog, inherit. He just opens his mouth and is funny.
Here's another one.....
Due to his 'softer' side, he is prone to shedding a tear or two at will (and usually for completely no good reason). The other day he was crying at the same time as eating a rice cake and, being the cold and cruel mother that I am, was laughing at him.
In between sobs he looked daggers at me and hissed: "Don't laugh, you've must made me miss my mouth and choke!!!"
And another......
During a recent trip to North Yorkshire, we were taking a stroll along a riverside and Daniel and his dad were stopping every now and then to throw stones into the water.
I was very bored, chilly and wanted to keep walking and politely expressed my eagerness to keep going and questioned why we needed to stop every beeping 100 yards to chuck things in!!
Daniel replied: "Mum, we're boys, it's what we do!"
Payback time.
Me: "Well can we please get a bloody move on, the village is still three miles away and there's a tea shop and I want a cup of tea; I'm a girl, it's what we do!"
I'm trying to bring him up to respect the fairer (in all senses of the word) sex but it would appear that I've failed miserably.
Driving through Cornwall on (yet another) recent holiday, the sat-nav with a lovely female voice was leading us, with dulcet tones, down stupidly narrow streets and up ridiculously steep hills.
Daniel decides to throw in his two penn'orth: "Dad, why don't you change your sat-nav settings to a man's voice, then it will choose smarter routes?"
Sigh.
In a cafe the other day I was multi-tasking; perusing the cake cabinet at the same time as telling my 9-year-old to take his coat off: "Daniel, Daniel, Daniel....take your coat off, it's warm in here, take your coat off, Daniel, Daniel!"
As I turned back to Daniel he gave me one of his withering looks and in a calm and dry tone said: "Well I was doing, before you started with the Daniel'ing".
Speaking of Daniel.... He's a boy with all the usual 'boy' attributes; he plays Minecraft on his PS3, kicks a ball around a muddy field every Sunday morning, collects Match Attax cards and likes guns and knives. He also, as has been analysed in many an edition of withdewrespect, has a, erm, softer side which was never more apparent than a conversation the other day.
We were looking at Swiss Army Knives and discussing the values of all their many attachments, knives in all shapes and sizes for various purposes, scissors, a bottle opener etc etc.
Daniel pipes up: "Mum, shall I tell you what would be really good as another attachment?"
Me: "What you thinking Daniel?"
Daniel: "A comb".
This kid was just born funny, it's not something you can learn, or clearly as you can see from this blog, inherit. He just opens his mouth and is funny.
Here's another one.....
Due to his 'softer' side, he is prone to shedding a tear or two at will (and usually for completely no good reason). The other day he was crying at the same time as eating a rice cake and, being the cold and cruel mother that I am, was laughing at him.
In between sobs he looked daggers at me and hissed: "Don't laugh, you've must made me miss my mouth and choke!!!"
And another......
During a recent trip to North Yorkshire, we were taking a stroll along a riverside and Daniel and his dad were stopping every now and then to throw stones into the water.
I was very bored, chilly and wanted to keep walking and politely expressed my eagerness to keep going and questioned why we needed to stop every beeping 100 yards to chuck things in!!
Daniel replied: "Mum, we're boys, it's what we do!"
Payback time.
Me: "Well can we please get a bloody move on, the village is still three miles away and there's a tea shop and I want a cup of tea; I'm a girl, it's what we do!"
I'm trying to bring him up to respect the fairer (in all senses of the word) sex but it would appear that I've failed miserably.
Driving through Cornwall on (yet another) recent holiday, the sat-nav with a lovely female voice was leading us, with dulcet tones, down stupidly narrow streets and up ridiculously steep hills.
Daniel decides to throw in his two penn'orth: "Dad, why don't you change your sat-nav settings to a man's voice, then it will choose smarter routes?"
Sigh.
