Here's a common one.
Customer: "I've got a query about my print-at-home ticket."
Me: "OK, how can I help?"
Customer: "Do I need to print it at home?"
Tip of a very big iceberg of customers with queries on a sliding scale from dumb to dumber.
Home is no respite from the bizarreness.
Daniel (the 9-year-old, hollering from his bedroom): "Mum, guess what? I don't have an egg to spawn a horse but I can ride on an out-of-control pig."
Me: "That's nice son."
By choice, I'm a pedestrian more often than a passenger or driver.
And I find that we're a dying breed, a rarity on the streets and very much second fiddle to the chunks of metal with whom we share the highways and byways.
Cars reluctantly and impatiently slam on their brakes at pedestrian crossings, their drivers glaring as you cross the road in front of them. The risk of getting caught on camera and penalty points on their licence being the only reason they hold back from ploughing you down for having impeded their journey. The fact that you've been stood there for ten minutes in the pouring rain, repeatedly and ineffectively pressing the button is of no matter. Traffic light settings are always biased towards keeping the traffic moving and the pedestrian waiting.
And don't get me started about pavement parking where drivers think the 'kerb' is just a small step to a great place to park, or at times, even drive.
Even the word pedestrian has a derogatory co-usage, the adjective meaning 'lacking inspiration or excitement, dull with synonyms including plodding, tedious, monotonous, tiresome, lifeless, unimaginative, uncreative and dry'.
Seems harsh, I just like walking.
I'm thinking of taking up Nordic Walking, both as a way to keep fit and to ensure my children have just one more reason to be thoroughly embarrassed by their mum. See next blog for further examples.
I like the sound of any activity which requires equipment and prompts a trip to Go Outdoors. This is commonly and swiftly followed by a week spent on Ebay selling all the impractical items I have purchased (for further reference read my previous blogs of a Carry on Camping nature, or should I correctly re-order, a right 'camping carry on'!)
