It would also be rather dry. For example, if you take my last entry, it simply wouldn't be funny if I told the truth and dispelled the image that I'm a bit dim and can't cope with selecting the correct sequence of numbers on a telephone touch screen keypad.
You see, it made much funnier reading to recount my tale of ringing the wrong friend and attributing it to, well, dimness.
The truth is (dear potential employer), I've got chubby fingers and both friends' names begin with 'S'. In fact, I seem to have an disproportionate number of contacts under 'S' (strange), and my chunky digits merely tapped the wrong one. Now, I'm sure there will be an Equal Opportunities group of activists who would fly in like vultures if anyone tried to discriminate against me on the basis of finger size so I've decided to leave withdewrespect, warts and all. Maybe I should set up a finger-related charity myself, just in case, I'll call it FAFFF, Friends and Associates of Fat Fingered Folk.
Now we've got that cleared up, on with the waffle.
Speaking of phones,predictive texting has a lot to answer for.
Just the other day my friend texted to recommend a restaurant, informing me she'd, 'never had a bad Neal there'. I replied to check her husband knew about Neal.
I could fill an entire separate blog with my newly-acquainted-with-the-texting-world mum and her predictive bloopers, they are priceless. I never thought my mother could make me LOL.
And just this morning, I was texting my husband to say, 'I'm preparing stew and dumplings for tea', and lo and behold, once I'd entered 'I'm' - space - and got as far as the 'pre', and it predicted, 'pregnant'!?
Good job I was focused on texting and not stirring the stew, or I'd have been texting my lawyer to either cash in the life insurance or to finalise the divorce, oh, and to sue Mirena (one for the ladies).
And another thing, Piz Buin (how DO you say that, answers on a postcard please?) and Elnett need to talk. Their branding people need to sit down around a table and come to an amicable agreement on which one will change the bronze colour of their hair spray / spray-on tan packaging.
On Saturday night, I had three young boys sitting in the car outside our house waiting to be taken to a fancy Indian restaurant for my son's birthday treat. At the last minute I hastily decided to have a good old squirt of spray on my carefully coiffured hair. I'll let you finish that story.
Withdewrespect is a short one today, I'm dashing to take 20 kids to school on my walking bus, give blood, help Year 1 sew cushions, buy my mum a birthday present, visit an elderly relative, take one son to gymnastics and the other to street dance, end war and poverty, polish my halo and lie down in a darkened room. Come to think of it, I don't have time to work!!!!
