This is what a customer said to me the other day in the shop (Howley Hall Pro Shop, open to the public 364 days a year with great customer service and competitive prices.....have I mentioned that before?!).
I know I've completely failed with any anonymity, despite calling my blog withdewrespect instead of my name. But as you may have noticed from my pictures, childbirth experiences and lack of football expertise, I am clearly not a 'lad'.
Now, I recently took a leaf out of Anne Hathaway's book (but without the resultant media attention and international exposure for my new project - I wish) and cut my locks into what is termed in the trade as a 'pixie crop'. (see previous blog re: Les Mis)
Boy-ish, I grant you, but surely when accompanied with a pink jumper, lipstick and boobs, it was hardly an attempt at gender swap.
The customer, when corrected, was very apologetic and said he hadn't really looked at me and was used to seeing only men in golf shops.
Indeed, a similar thing happens when I answer the phone.
"Good morning, Howley Hall Pro Shop, Dianne speaking."
"Morning dear, can you put me through to the Pro Shop please?"
"Yes sir, this is the Pro Shop".
Silence.
"Oh sorry, I thought I'd gone through to the office."
I wonder why!?
I read in Psychologies magazine that, as a 40-something-year-old, I've still got 65% of my productive career years left in my life. (Good to know, I may need to look for a more 'suitable' job for a girl)
When I look at my career to date, it's true that I've done rather a lot in a short space of time, but without that varied life/work experience I wouldn't be the person, nor the writer, I am today.
I thought I knew it all in my 20s. In my 40s, I realise I didn't!
I'll leave you with another theory from Psychologies, that if we constantly seek constant happiness, paradoxically we are less likely to be happy. I like that.
(Note to husband, please not another 12 month Psychologies subscription for Christmas this year, I'm turning into bloody Freud - and we all know women shouldn't be allowed to think don't we, Mr Golf Shop Customer!!)
Actually I won't leave you with that nugget, I've got a better one which I came across in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (currently being ticked off my literary bucket list).
Arthur asks: "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
To which Ford replies: "You ask a glass of water."
I'm not even going to end on that note. I've got an even better tip of my own.
Don't let your child nod off for 50 seconds on the way back from Macdonalds at teatime. Those mere 50 seconds will equate to your child bouncing off the walls for the next 48 hours. 50 seconds v' 48 hours, your choice dear fellow (tired) parent.
Who needs internationally-renowned and published psychologists and comedy fiction legends when you've got withdewrespect!?
